To Gramas Treasures

I have waited for this moment........and it is here.......

When I was a little girl.........maybe even before I was in grade school.....It must
have been planted in me ...before I left heaven.......by someone who loved me.....
a lot.....because the phrase was always on my mind....always....I was never told this
by my parents....nor anyone else.....But the words were these...."Seek ye first the
kingdom of heaven.....and all else shall be granted to you"......And they were so
engraved on my mind.....literally.....that I spent all my young years.....thinking
.....All I ever had to do was be good.....and it was easy for me.....because .....I
don't know why....but I just was never tempted....it wasn't exciting for me....that
little voice within all of us.....was so on the straight and narrow.....For years
.....I was actually brain washed by these words.....This life is going to be a breeze
.......all I have to be is good......and it came so easy for me....It was my
comfort zone......And I love my comfort zone...in fact to everyone who has ever met
me......they know how true these words are.......

I had temptations around me......I didn't live in a glass house......My
parents occasionally went to a bar for a beer......they had hootch under the sink...
they drank coffee.....when I was little.....but to me coffee smelled like dirty dish
water.......Yuck!.....never did I ever even taste it......Neither of them ever smoked
....my Dad had a good mind......and enough sense to know smoking was a killer.....

I am just going to hit the highlights.......because in reality.......any
one who read about my life.....might wonder if this strange eighty lady......would
actually live long enough to tell her tale.......Surprise!.......here I am.......Spilling maybe more than I should .......

The important things are.......How I came to be me......Through my young
years......I always had a strong voice inside of me....But also I had a strong voice
in my home......He couldn't hear......but we were all afraid of him.....In hind sight
....I can see....that is an advantage to children.......to have something that keeps
the doors from swinging open to every living thing that exists.......Our home is
supposed to be a replica of heaven........We had and have restrictions in heaven.....
they should be in our home as well........and they should be enforced by the one
holding the priesthood.......My parents were married in the temple......in 1925...
the Salt Lake Temple......They always wore garments.......but the cotton ones....

The basic structure was always there.....But like so many mormon homes....
The spirit so often was not........But I was always my own little person.....and
I grew up .....The atmosphere was so different then......the girls were not aggressive....we were never allowed to mention the word sex......It wasn't even
thought of......not in my circle of friends........I was out playing hopscotch....
I got the blue ribbon......I was the best......I was a monkey on the tricky bars....
They had them at school......and I rushed every recess to get first on the tricky
bars.......The boys then were playing marbles......and soccer and not interested
much in anything else......girls were sissy stuff..........

My Dad always got us practical things......when we got anything..It had
to have a useful purpose....He bought Connie and I tennis rackets when we were in
Junior High.....It was good excersize.....I got pretty good....Connie and I played
quite a bit......we walked up to the courts......we only had one car....my Dad used
for work......I went swimming ......to my best memory....I always went alone.....up
to Fairmont Park...it was free.....On Monday it was ice cold but clean.......and
each day after that it got a little warmer...and a little dirtier.....on Saturday....
it was very warm and very familiar from a weeks swimming......they changed the water
once a week.......I also tumbled with a group.......mr. Fairbanks......we did tricks
......and had engagements where we performed.....and when I was in the fourth grade.....My dad made me from wood .....my own skiis......there up in the christmas
room.......He built the first Ski Lodge at Alta.....and he got an interest in skiing.......We started to go skiing .......He wanted to go on Sunday.....but I didn't feel good about that......anyway....I got fairly good....I had a lot of dare
in me........That was my entrance in the world of sports.........

When I was in the second grade......My Dad announced to Connie and I that
we were to play the violin........We ....neither of us wanted to....but my Dad wanted
that for us......We started when I was 7 years old....and took lessons until I
graduated from South at 17.........for 10 years.....we had to practise one hour
every single day.....On Saturday we had to practise 2 hours...and in the summer.......we had to practise 2 hours every day...........One morning when we
lived in the lean to house....a little shack near the alley.......I fainted while
practising.....fell on top of my violin.....and broke it in a million pieces.......My Dad had another violin for me the very next day........We hated the
violin.....He promised connie and I if we took violin lessons for one year......after
that we could take anything we wanted.......I wanted to take the Steel guitar....and
Connie wanted to play the piano.......Well he never kept his promise........And we
continued to play....He never once in his life came to watch us play.......he couldn't hear.......but he made us practise........When I was in Jr. High.....I was
concert mistress in the orchestra.....and our orchestra had a concert.....It was
really a big deal.....I had to memorize this really hard piece.....It was Hejre Kati
.........and I had to stand up there on the stage all by myself.......and play from
memory this violin solo..........I was really scared.....and nervous..I had to walk
up to Irving Jr. High which was on 21st south and 13thEast.....in the night time.....
all by myself.........no one from my family came.......But my grama Hope.......
She knew nothing about music.....but she gave me a love......and said I did good....
I walked home all my myself.......in the dark.....it was about 10 o'clock in the
night..............We were not pampered children.......So much was expected of us...
I had to make my own dress to wear at the concert.......I remember that night.....
so well......there was so much work on my part.....I had to stay after school for
weeks and practise with our orchestra teacher.....Mr.Linneman........
....it had to be near perfect.....I
didn't forget any of it.......but what I remember was......after it was over......
Nothing.......I guess ....maybe I had hoped for a tiny reward....like "Well done
daughter".......nothing.........Zilch..........Is it any wonder I had zero self esteem...........But I remember it didn't startle me.......We never got much comment
about anything really.........No massaging ...........We played duets a lot in church
.......no one came............You can tell we played a lot......Our name is on a
lot of programs........I played a violin solo when Dad went on his mission.....
I mention this.......because it had a lot to do with the discipline I have always
had...............I got it from the way I was raised........But I have also fought
a good self image and self esteem my entire life........We never did anything good
enough......My report card was one time.....straight A's.....and I got one B.....
My Dad remarked ..."Why the B"?.........I remember I just walked away........

I knew what to expect......and I was seldom wrong.....But I don't hold any
bad feelings......I gave them away a long time ago.....I realize they did the very
best they were capable of giving..........Can you expect any more?........What
they were able to give us......was about par with what they got from their parents..........

I remember once when I was a young Mother living on Oakmont......that I
read....if you are worried about not being the perfect parent as usually every
young mother is.........Remember if you make them feel loved......and if they feel
secure in their little home.......They will grow up and change themselves......
You can't be the perfect parent......but you can give them perfect love......and
make them feel they are secure........

It took me a long time........after I was married to realize .....This life
was not going to be a breeze.......There was a lot more to it.....than meets the eye
of a young person in love......Even when you know you have met the right one....
And you do all the right things for the right reasons......We are not favored in any
way when the trials of life are passed out to each of us........We have to continue
to take our hits.....and sometimes they come so fast and furiously........we don't
duck at the right moment........

But I have also realized.....that our hardest hits are our greatest blessings........Having lived the years......the bruises and the wounds that you
wear through your countenance........will stay and be your strength that will get
you through the next fire you have to walk through........We don't get to jump over
anything in this life........We have to walk through it.....we have a few scars....
but this life is the moment for being beaten down......wounded and stripped at times
of our dignity........that we often have to shed for the ones we love......And we
do it willingly.......as we should........as did Jesus.....on the cross.....for us....He was at his lowest peak........and then it comes........Those few words....
that completely are words written in gold......"Seek ye first the kingdom of Heaven
and all else shall be added unto you".........The only words I can think of that
surpass any other thought ever spoken...........

These words.......didn't mean .....Your life will just sail without any
opposition......But rather they tell us how to survive.....anything this earth has
to offer us.............To me........they mean......There is nothing in this life
of mortality.......that has any significance outside of these words.......They mean
.........To you as a single entity.......and a spirit unto yourself......No thing
on the face of this earth........has more meaning......than seeking the Lord and
making him your best friend........Nothing......No one........

At the moment of birth.........we are drawn to love.....because we have just
left Heaven where love had its birth........I imagine the Lord has pondered
extensively......how best to test his children..........Placing them here on earth...
in a strange place........learning how we all learn... who to trust.....by sometimes
being fooled .........by injustice.......by trickery.........but in the process
of growing up.........finally realizing.....the one that sent us down here.......
would never leave us completely alone.........Until we are eight......we are
protected.......by the presence of heaven......and when we turn eight.....we are
given the Holy Ghost.......which is ........to me the greatest gift ever even
possible for a lonely little soul to possess.........But we aren't fully aware of
its power......even when others tell us.......There seems to have to be a need for
divine intervention......before we know what this power is........I can only tesify
to you.......that it is the greatest thing that any living person on earth....can
witness feeling.........It is the one thing that I confess .......is the most
precious thing on earth to me........It has saved my soul.....It has filled my heart
so full.......that I think it will burst.......It has power not of this life.....
But it is a gift........that if you possess it.......it will not matter if the whole
earth is swallowed up.......

If you have made the Lord the center of your universe......and trust in him....And if you can whether the storms of this mortality......as just a test.....
which they are........You will have the peace of angels in your heart........

What prompted me to write this was......the other day I watched on the BYU
channel........About Nathan Eldon Tanners life........It was so interesting....that
I couldn't turn away........This man......was really a very special man.....and
every one wanted to be by him...have a piece of him.....be where he was....listen
to what he had to say.......Besides being a billionaire......he was a Mormon.....
people wanted to know about Mormons because of him..........anyway.....one day his
grandson...[told by his grandson].....said to Grampa ....."What does it take to be
successful?".............And this is what was said to grandson........from grampa....
"Seek ye First the Kingdom of Heaven......and all else will be granted to you"....
those were his words...........He had learned ........through the same process that
all of us are learning.....right and wrong.....that there is only one way.......
And it so impressed me.......because it was those golden words that I had lived
with when I was really young........and It really confirmed to me again.....that
the Lord must have loved me a lot......I think I had a divine calling.......It
wasn't the one I had planned.......or would have chosen......But now......I have
completely surrendered whatever I might have wished for or dreamed of......I only
want to be in favor with the Lord.....I want him to be happy with me......And I am
honest enough to know I have no idea what I would have chosen for a perfect life....
But I am strong enough to surrender my wants....dreams.....wishes...everything I
have is the Lords.........Then and only then will it be in good hands........I am
just not smart enough......nor do I know enough....but I am smart enougth to know
how much I lack in knowledge.....intelligence.....in ways of the Lord.......And what
ever he has in store for me........His will is mine..........

We get so caught up in current events........Sports?......famous people?
things that happen to us........births......deaths.......celebrations.....elections
...........I love what Neal Maxwell said......."These are all just events"....I
love that........The important thing in this life.......Is that we have our head
on straight........And know we came from Heaven........We are here for a couple of
days......and then for eternity .....if ....we will go back to heaven.....in that
place we have earned while being here on earth.....In a perfect place like
heaven can we have liars.....cheaters......robbers.....killers......I think not.....
For it to be the perfect celestial presence......the ones there have to pretty
good folks.............That makes sense.......Whether they are our relatives or not...We all have to abide by the same rules...........

It seems simple.......we learn when we are small......a red light means stop.
......and green light means go.......Our whole life is governed by rules......we
have to obey..........But......here comes the catch.....The important rules to
learn and that really matter are the ones made in heaven by our Father in Heaven.....
The earthly rules...are the Lords rules also...............But the
Lords rules govern which plane we live on........Do we want to live with ......our loved ones?...those are the important ones........ Our heavenly laws are sometimes a little bit different......because ......they are harmful to us....if we are sick
it makes for misery......We are meant to be happy......and someone loves us enough
to tell us.....which things to avoid that will tear our body apart..........and
we resent it?.........

I think we need so badly to live right so we will be worthy of spiritual
help.........We need faith to believe.......and it is a spiritual gift......It is
like which comes first.....the chicken or the egg.......You need one to have the
other........Thus our beginning.......we have extra help in the beginning when we
are young.......like I mentioned......until we are eight......It is so important
that little ones.........learn in those young years ....The only way to be happy....
is never from disobeying........always to listen to that little voice within......

I think I have hit on the most important things.......But I cannot emphasize
enough.......what Mom and Dad do.......Is written in indelible ink in the minds of
children........But........even if you make mistakes........which you will........
You can make sure they feel loved......and security is discipline.....they have to
know their limits..........We do with the Lord?........One of the hardest things in
this world to grow past is having been given every living thing when you were little........Sorry........But....I heard a stake president say one time.......
Every one has to want ............Children have to want......in order for them to go out and get it........And I believe that.........The ones in the world that have
made it.......have wanted it pretty bad......most of them came from very little......

Don't expect thanks from your kids for going without to give it to them....They don't respect you any more for it.........it's true..........Parents
do it.......because their love is so great.......You will love your kids 10 times
more than they will ever love you........Don't feel bad.......Its been this way
from the beginning of time......

Children..........Words of Wisdom.......

Always stick up for you in-laws.......Your own will forgive you........

If you can solve all your problems with money......You are rich indeed.....

Granma Nielsen........"Teach your kid how to fight or how to run"........

Granma Nielsen......"When scrubbing the floor.....Take care of the corners first and
the middle will take care of itself".......

Grama Nielsen had 9 renegade sons....but she always said...."But Honey....they were
all such good fathers......they all loved their kids"

Gram Nielsen........when watching Mort heave in the toilet after having
too many rootbeers.....she said..."Heave your guts out...good on you"

Gram Nielsen.......When we were first married.....she would call me up every day....
wanted to be best buds....and one day I said."I'm not too happy today
Wally spent thirteen dollars on a fishing pole and went fishing with
his brothers....he hates to fish.........She said to me......."Oh Honey
aren't you happy he isn't spending time after work in a bar for a beer"

Grama Nielsen.....One day Grama fell when stepping off the trolley.....and she sued
them for injuries....She got $250.00......Grampa got hold of it......and
went and bought a piece of crap for a car......she was furious......She
put an add in the paper.....and some guy came and offered to buy it..
He was a smart-alec....and said to her as he handed her the check...This
check is good as long as you don't try to cash it.....Grama said back
to him....."This car is good as long as you don't try to run it"......
They exchanged wishes.....and he went out and the car wouldn't start...
They had to get someone to tow it off the driveway..........

Grama Nielsen.......was the funniest person I ever knew......and I know of no one
that I loved more.......I couldn't stop crying when she died...I thought
my heart would break........

Grama Nielen.....She said to me.....If you let Wally go on his mission......I will
love you like my own daughter....I looked at her.......Is this woman
thinking?.If wally goes on this mission....he will be a better husband
to me......and a better father to my children........Where is her mind?
I would be the ones who gains......and I have and I did.......

Grama Nielsen......always saw the best in everyone......She always loved me......cuz
I helped her boy to be the best he could be........and I don't know how
he could have been a better person.......He was so married to the Lord
and his calling....I had to fit myself into his life the best I could.
But that in itself helped me adjust...to my twenty years I have been
alone......If you are married to a good man......you have to share him
with so many people.........And Pres. Faust said.....when you marry a
prince of a man......you lose a prince of a man........but I wouldn't
have wanted him any different than what he was......Those are the
reasons I fell in love with him..........This is our belief system...
You help your husband be the best he can be.....and then you stand
beside him.....This is the order of Heaven........And I deem it the
greatest privelege of my life......to have found such a righteous man
And what ever he earns will be for both of us........

I think I might want to write a little more later.......but it is kinda my way of
letting you all know......a little of my life......I don't know if I can ever go into
full detail......of all things......But Grama Nielsen was a bright light in my life......And of all her ten children.....Wally was the only Missionary........And
you all know of wallys dad and his mission..........that was another story for another day...........Also very inspiring..........maybe later...........but for
now maybe this is it..........

I think the Lord has more of a hand in our life than anyone knows......We
think everything is our choice?.......If we are living right....he will guide our
destination here and there......the exact circumstances that we need for our own
growth....He knows our weaknesses.....and how we can correct them.........The Lord
is truly the best friend we will ever have.....But it takes us so long to really
know that in our heart.......Why does it take so long for us to know how much the
Lord loves us?.........And he wants so little of us really.......Just to depend
on him......and trust him.......and have faith in him........and know that when
things happen.......it is for a reason......always the test......And the reason
for the test?......Is because he really loves us and wants us to come back home....
Think of our own children.........How we wait for and miss them while they are gone?
We can't hardly breathe when they are out of our sight........He is the same....
But he is more disciplined and patient........and knows we are mostly slow learners.......But he will wait and wait and wait........and never leave us.......
How lucky are we?.......to be loved so much?.........Now I must go for awhile......
But I will be back..........Love Mom......Grama........Grama wonderful......Grama
Tiki......Sug........Grama Christmas.........Grama Sugar pants.......

P.S.........One day when we have tried to be everything to everyone.....we
will realize that we are just one little person........And it is just impossible.
.......That is when truly words of wisdom make so much sense to you.......That is
if your focus is on celestial things........every other thing will fall into place....Because.....simply........nothing else really matters.........

Pres David Christensen......."The closer I come to my savior the less hurt
mortality has for me"...........

Pres. Boyd Packer....."The only things that should concern us are things
of a celestial nature"...........

These have always helped me.......I hope they help you as well............Gram....