November 14 1991..........

When I said this is a quick note.......I lied......Pamper me......I am so
pathetic.......I am so trying to grow up.......maybe.....maybe...but...not yet!.....

Just a quick note.....This was a very significant day for me......I was
enjoying some of the best moments of my life.......Getting ready for Thanksgiving
and contemplating Christmas which was the day looked forward to every year....as
the highlight and brightest celebration we could experience as a family......A day
that culminated months of searching for that special gift for that special person...
to show our deepest feelings of love.......And I remember I squeezed my pennies so
tight to make them stretch as far as humanly possible.....After all....this was the
moment that was mine ......I had permission to bury my five little treasures...
so deep in gifts.....Even I was looking for them.......To make sure they didn't get
buried in my indulgence.....

.......Oh my gosh!......The exhileration that I felt in
my soul......to get to pawn over my little ones that I loved more than my own life......Was just unexplainable......Now....I thought to myself......"Did I do good?"........Could I have done more?.....Was I wise?........I was reassured by the
kindest man that ever lived...."Mom...You did good".......That's all I ever needed...Was that little approval from the one I loved......And he always gave it
to me..........My sweetheart knew me better than any one on earth......And he knew
how I loved to do and make merry for my little ones......I remember for one of my
Birthdays.........Dad said..."Mom......what can I give you that you want more than
anything?........and I said to him....."I want to buy each one of my kids something
........and wrap them up.......and surprise them.....".......He knew my heart...
and he knew what made me happy.......and he said....."Done".........It happened....

Looking back.......that was selfish of me.....I robbed them of the joy that
you receive from giving......But the point was......Dad let me do it.....Just because
he wanted me to be happy.....Bad Mom.....Good Dad........

He let me learn so many things on my own......rather than dictating to me....
I did learn a lot of things on my own.......because he allowed me the freedom to
make mistakes......Maybe that is why I have done medium-well by myself......

By that......I mean.......maintaining a solo life.....On the surface...
that is how it appears.......But on the inside........I feel like I don't belong
anywhere......I am being honest.....I feel welcome......Everyone is very kind to
me.......I can go anywhere and everyone is very sweet to me.......But the only place
I feel.......really comfortable is here.......I feel ownership in a way.....This
was ours together.......and it still is the only place I feel I am not leaving prints
on someone elses life.........I am not out of place here........I can deal with
being one.........I have a hard time with three......or I don't want to be an
add-on.........The husbands of my children are all very cordial to me......But
husbands......want complete ownership .......and a lonesome Mom in the picture....
represents maybe wanting more than they are willing to share........And I above
all don't want my shadow in a dark light in their home.........

Nothing in the world.......can interfere with the bond I have in my heart
.......for my birth children......Nothing can cut the cord.....It will be there...
till the eternities and then on from there.........But it is a silent connection
that always will exist....This is a mothers love......second to none only Gods.......

But I think you all have always known of my love for you.......But what I
didn't know then........Was how difficult it would be to be without my support
system.......I didn't know how weak I was.....not weak spiritually......My
spiritual strength kept me from drowning..........But weak.....dealing with others
.........knowing how to put gas in my tank........yeah!.....I would go to a gas
station where they washed your windows......Yeah!....they did that.....But little
by little.....as each day passed.......I grew a little stronger......and a little
lonelier also........This is the worst......to be alone.....yet I would never ever
even in my mind think about someone elses shoes under my bed.....Mercy!.....He
was the only one I ever wanted.......and to this day.......I'll take alone......
Thank you very much!.............

But the Christmas's get harder and harder......And I gradually want to be
by myself more.........I don't want to show the tears.......I have so much to be
greatful for..............And I have a really hard time seeing the snow scenes and
little houses all lit up for Christmas.....and little children all excited....And
the old fashioned scenes where there is an old fashioned horse and buggy in a
country scene.......and Christmas trees and presents.......I did at first try to
be the same.....buy presents for everyone......and do and buy.....but...at first
I thought I was coming close.....It was convenient to go to Susans house...I didn't
want to interrupt your little family Christmas's.......Then I realized......
it took too much time .....[to unwrap all my presents]......

. ..I didn't realize at first.....then as I thought about it......I was taking away from their time together.......So...then plan B.............
I had no plan B........I tried having you all come to Rhondas one
year......but that wasn't so good.....Everyones family is so big now.....and last
year I had you each come to my house one family at a time...but that was not exactly
the same.....Christmas is a time for togetherness........And it is right that you
all have your little things according to your plans......I found that I could buy
and wrap all my little things....but getting them to you......was the headache.....
Then last year I decided to have my kids come over and take my little gifts home
with them for all the grand kids.......and you could give them out.......and you
wouldn't need to make an extra trip over...........Ok now this year....Be at ease....I am not requesting anything but for you to know how much I love you all............

There is 30 grand kids.....and nearly 50 ggrandkids......And this number makes me
feel simply tremendous.........If you weren't happy as children or had a disdain
for a lot of family......You wouldn't be having them at all.....You have made me
extremely happy and rewarded.....You all have did good at Christmas and made it so
your kids wanted a big family........You are all excellent mothers...and you have
all loved Christmas........but another thing.........

....Granpa did something right.........He just
knew how to love in a way that was full of enthusiasm.......And when you see
something or someone that is doing it right.......It kinda makes you want to have
what they had........Granpa loved his get togethers.......He loved people......all
people........he loved strangers.....He would walk up to anyone with a tan skin...
and say..."Kiora".......The island people know what that means.......I keep gettng
off track.......But I have always been off track.....Well not completely....My
relationship with my Heavenly Father is the one thing that sustains me.....I have
surrendered my life....my soul...my spirit.....my will......to him.......I try to
focus only on things of an eternal nature.....

I have a few problems....I can hardly see......I have to sit up real
close to the TV now....Driving is only for necessity....I can't read...I get severe
headaches.......I am wabbly when I walk......I am severely light headed....I feel
safe close to home......It is better I don't wander too far.....I have to avoid
getting too stressed.....I have bells palsy when my nerves have too much freedom...
I have to keep them in tact.....I also break out in hives or a rash....if I am really upset .....I have a cough that would choke a horse....and I cough incessantly
.........It bugs me to death.....so I can imagine how it is to listen to me...I
get really teed off with people that cough........But it is also embarassing to me...
The people in front of me in church got up and moved....I coughed so hard.......Really ...Is that not a pretty picture?...........

.......Yes....I am a retarded Basket Case....I have no excuse...
I tried to give you a Mom that was perfect......But suck it up!.....we take what we
are given......and find contentment with our allotment......I was given you...right?
and you all lived......I think..........Get a life and stop growling.........If
things go well........we will all make it.....somewhere.....are you smiling?......

..But I have no pain....well....that is kind of a lie.......I have five pains......
But they are with me........in a place.......where they are safe.....
.

I feel that if I take care of myself.......and not cause anyone problems...
I will be doing the best I can do for everyone....

And so to my family........Aside from my feeling very melancholy today....
My greatest wonderment I have.....Is "Why the Lord has been so good to me?"......
I have been working up to be just average my whole life........Never felt that I
was much more........And then one day ....I was minding my own business.......when
.I met this really cute guy......and even more strange than that....our eyes met....
And he wasn't a girly guy.......He was a big macho tuff sports guy......But I think
the heavens intervened.......There were sparks from heaven that were flashing.....
each time we passed in the hall..........He was so bashful.....He had his buddy
come over and ask me for a date?..........Honest....He was so timid......and shy....
He wouldn't talk for the longest time........He would call me on the phone..and all
he would say is..."What....or Huh?"............He would walk over to see me all
the way from Blair Street ........over to my house......He had no car......And
sometimes we would take the trolly up town......or walk in the rain.....I loved
those days.........I was the first girl he ever asked on a date......and I was his
only girl friend period.......[In name of Jesus Christ Amen]..........

Forgive me......I keep going back ....don't I?".......What I was thinking
to say to you all.........this Christmas.......Surprise!.....No CD from Michael....

Lets exchange something this year......That you can't buy for all the money in the
world........That is.... lets exchange feelings of love to one another.....I don't
mean love that is expressed in a gift or on a piece of paper.......But a love that
is felt deep in your heart........the kind of love that is expressed in a prayer....
Lets love each other so much.......that we will pray for one another every single
time we kneel at our beds........That is a gift worthy of the birth of the savior
for whom this day was set aside to celebrate.......and one that can be felt each
and every second for the rest of our lives.........

This could possibly be the greatest gesture towards healing the hurts in our
family........that is possible for us......We have so many in our family that have
broken hearts......broken families.......hurts that can't be mended......that ....
there is only one source.......that can know real pain........and only one that we
can go to and ask for help.........And that is the one that gave us life......and
that gave us each other.......and that gave us this heart of ours to know and
see truth.........and that is......There is only one that is in control of all
things.......And that he doesn't make mistakes......But he waits upon us to depend
on him for help......He is there 24/7........

This is my wish and my prayer for this Christmas.......that we turn our
hearts to heaven.......and kneel and ask for our loved ones.....And pray that he
will help us soften our hearts to those who have made mistakes..... that we will
try our best to help each other.......Maybe just with a kind word......Let each
other know......we walk beside them .....no matter how down they are....To each
of us......we have something to give........maybe not means?........maybe give a
small part of ourselves.......Swallow the pride that reigns in the world......
Every man made tragedy that exists has its roots drowning in pride........C.S.Lewis
said.....Instead of being one in purpose....the same......We want to be different
He says......being different denotes dissention......

Wow!......Look at our world......Just how far are we away from what the
Lord wants us to be.......We are about .....Fashion.....the latest.....the newest
car?.......the latest ipod?...the biggest house?........The best figure?....We
want to be better.......not the same........The Lord wants us to be the same in
purpose........to love the same.....to love righteousness......to love each
other...........To love him.....To love people .....not things........

Ok.......I keep sliding off the subject........But I kind of feel...on
this day.......a special day for me......when such a big part of my heart went
to heaven with my sweetheart.......I could maybe take a few liberties......and
just for this day......pour out my heart and soul to you.......

Nothing on the face of this earth matters......If the Lord is not your
best friend........He will guide your thoughts....He will bless you with the
power of descernment.......He will caution you when you are in danger.....He
will give you a feeling of uneasiness when you are approached by someone who is
about to harm you......He will warn you with a stupor of thought.......He will
let you know when you have forgotten ........that certain things alarm the spirit....
and cause him to leave....He will make you feel uncomfortable for a reason.......
But he will also.......grant you a heavenly peace that you can't receive in any
other way.........only from the spirit......He is the only one that can give you
a calm.......and a feeling that all is well.........

I felt impressed to do this.......And reading it is optional......As is
life.........I can only pray that you might accept my feelings on this melancholy
day......in the spirit that it is sent........I am in the winter of my life.....And
yours is just the spring........Learn early .......before you enter the fall....
how you can find peace .......You have to have it to survive......Most of the time
you spend your entire life searching for what you already have ........The only
thing that needs changing.......is the way you think.........You are already rich....
Because you all were given everything you will ever need to enter the celestial
realm.........You just have to realize it............You are only in need of
time to kneel.......and ask your father in heaven ...to touch your heart........

Please Be Happy........It is a decision...........Love........Mom....Gram

Merry Chritmas to all my beautiful grandchildren...and all my ggrandchildren
to all my treasures.....and their chosen........to their families.....we are an
eternal family..........I couldn't possibly love you more........well.....I was
going to rethink that.......But Be Happy......Be wise.....Be prayerful........

Mom............

To Gramas Treasures

I have waited for this moment........and it is here.......

When I was a little girl.........maybe even before I was in grade school.....It must
have been planted in me ...before I left heaven.......by someone who loved me.....
a lot.....because the phrase was always on my mind....always....I was never told this
by my parents....nor anyone else.....But the words were these...."Seek ye first the
kingdom of heaven.....and all else shall be granted to you"......And they were so
engraved on my mind.....literally.....that I spent all my young years.....thinking
.....All I ever had to do was be good.....and it was easy for me.....because .....I
don't know why....but I just was never tempted....it wasn't exciting for me....that
little voice within all of us.....was so on the straight and narrow.....For years
.....I was actually brain washed by these words.....This life is going to be a breeze
.......all I have to be is good......and it came so easy for me....It was my
comfort zone......And I love my comfort zone...in fact to everyone who has ever met
me......they know how true these words are.......

I had temptations around me......I didn't live in a glass house......My
parents occasionally went to a bar for a beer......they had hootch under the sink...
they drank coffee.....when I was little.....but to me coffee smelled like dirty dish
water.......Yuck!.....never did I ever even taste it......Neither of them ever smoked
....my Dad had a good mind......and enough sense to know smoking was a killer.....

I am just going to hit the highlights.......because in reality.......any
one who read about my life.....might wonder if this strange eighty lady......would
actually live long enough to tell her tale.......Surprise!.......here I am.......Spilling maybe more than I should .......

The important things are.......How I came to be me......Through my young
years......I always had a strong voice inside of me....But also I had a strong voice
in my home......He couldn't hear......but we were all afraid of him.....In hind sight
....I can see....that is an advantage to children.......to have something that keeps
the doors from swinging open to every living thing that exists.......Our home is
supposed to be a replica of heaven........We had and have restrictions in heaven.....
they should be in our home as well........and they should be enforced by the one
holding the priesthood.......My parents were married in the temple......in 1925...
the Salt Lake Temple......They always wore garments.......but the cotton ones....

The basic structure was always there.....But like so many mormon homes....
The spirit so often was not........But I was always my own little person.....and
I grew up .....The atmosphere was so different then......the girls were not aggressive....we were never allowed to mention the word sex......It wasn't even
thought of......not in my circle of friends........I was out playing hopscotch....
I got the blue ribbon......I was the best......I was a monkey on the tricky bars....
They had them at school......and I rushed every recess to get first on the tricky
bars.......The boys then were playing marbles......and soccer and not interested
much in anything else......girls were sissy stuff..........

My Dad always got us practical things......when we got anything..It had
to have a useful purpose....He bought Connie and I tennis rackets when we were in
Junior High.....It was good excersize.....I got pretty good....Connie and I played
quite a bit......we walked up to the courts......we only had one car....my Dad used
for work......I went swimming ......to my best memory....I always went alone.....up
to Fairmont Park...it was free.....On Monday it was ice cold but clean.......and
each day after that it got a little warmer...and a little dirtier.....on Saturday....
it was very warm and very familiar from a weeks swimming......they changed the water
once a week.......I also tumbled with a group.......mr. Fairbanks......we did tricks
......and had engagements where we performed.....and when I was in the fourth grade.....My dad made me from wood .....my own skiis......there up in the christmas
room.......He built the first Ski Lodge at Alta.....and he got an interest in skiing.......We started to go skiing .......He wanted to go on Sunday.....but I didn't feel good about that......anyway....I got fairly good....I had a lot of dare
in me........That was my entrance in the world of sports.........

When I was in the second grade......My Dad announced to Connie and I that
we were to play the violin........We ....neither of us wanted to....but my Dad wanted
that for us......We started when I was 7 years old....and took lessons until I
graduated from South at 17.........for 10 years.....we had to practise one hour
every single day.....On Saturday we had to practise 2 hours...and in the summer.......we had to practise 2 hours every day...........One morning when we
lived in the lean to house....a little shack near the alley.......I fainted while
practising.....fell on top of my violin.....and broke it in a million pieces.......My Dad had another violin for me the very next day........We hated the
violin.....He promised connie and I if we took violin lessons for one year......after
that we could take anything we wanted.......I wanted to take the Steel guitar....and
Connie wanted to play the piano.......Well he never kept his promise........And we
continued to play....He never once in his life came to watch us play.......he couldn't hear.......but he made us practise........When I was in Jr. High.....I was
concert mistress in the orchestra.....and our orchestra had a concert.....It was
really a big deal.....I had to memorize this really hard piece.....It was Hejre Kati
.........and I had to stand up there on the stage all by myself.......and play from
memory this violin solo..........I was really scared.....and nervous..I had to walk
up to Irving Jr. High which was on 21st south and 13thEast.....in the night time.....
all by myself.........no one from my family came.......But my grama Hope.......
She knew nothing about music.....but she gave me a love......and said I did good....
I walked home all my myself.......in the dark.....it was about 10 o'clock in the
night..............We were not pampered children.......So much was expected of us...
I had to make my own dress to wear at the concert.......I remember that night.....
so well......there was so much work on my part.....I had to stay after school for
weeks and practise with our orchestra teacher.....Mr.Linneman........
....it had to be near perfect.....I
didn't forget any of it.......but what I remember was......after it was over......
Nothing.......I guess ....maybe I had hoped for a tiny reward....like "Well done
daughter".......nothing.........Zilch..........Is it any wonder I had zero self esteem...........But I remember it didn't startle me.......We never got much comment
about anything really.........No massaging ...........We played duets a lot in church
.......no one came............You can tell we played a lot......Our name is on a
lot of programs........I played a violin solo when Dad went on his mission.....
I mention this.......because it had a lot to do with the discipline I have always
had...............I got it from the way I was raised........But I have also fought
a good self image and self esteem my entire life........We never did anything good
enough......My report card was one time.....straight A's.....and I got one B.....
My Dad remarked ..."Why the B"?.........I remember I just walked away........

I knew what to expect......and I was seldom wrong.....But I don't hold any
bad feelings......I gave them away a long time ago.....I realize they did the very
best they were capable of giving..........Can you expect any more?........What
they were able to give us......was about par with what they got from their parents..........

I remember once when I was a young Mother living on Oakmont......that I
read....if you are worried about not being the perfect parent as usually every
young mother is.........Remember if you make them feel loved......and if they feel
secure in their little home.......They will grow up and change themselves......
You can't be the perfect parent......but you can give them perfect love......and
make them feel they are secure........

It took me a long time........after I was married to realize .....This life
was not going to be a breeze.......There was a lot more to it.....than meets the eye
of a young person in love......Even when you know you have met the right one....
And you do all the right things for the right reasons......We are not favored in any
way when the trials of life are passed out to each of us........We have to continue
to take our hits.....and sometimes they come so fast and furiously........we don't
duck at the right moment........

But I have also realized.....that our hardest hits are our greatest blessings........Having lived the years......the bruises and the wounds that you
wear through your countenance........will stay and be your strength that will get
you through the next fire you have to walk through........We don't get to jump over
anything in this life........We have to walk through it.....we have a few scars....
but this life is the moment for being beaten down......wounded and stripped at times
of our dignity........that we often have to shed for the ones we love......And we
do it willingly.......as we should........as did Jesus.....on the cross.....for us....He was at his lowest peak........and then it comes........Those few words....
that completely are words written in gold......"Seek ye first the kingdom of Heaven
and all else shall be added unto you".........The only words I can think of that
surpass any other thought ever spoken...........

These words.......didn't mean .....Your life will just sail without any
opposition......But rather they tell us how to survive.....anything this earth has
to offer us.............To me........they mean......There is nothing in this life
of mortality.......that has any significance outside of these words.......They mean
.........To you as a single entity.......and a spirit unto yourself......No thing
on the face of this earth........has more meaning......than seeking the Lord and
making him your best friend........Nothing......No one........

At the moment of birth.........we are drawn to love.....because we have just
left Heaven where love had its birth........I imagine the Lord has pondered
extensively......how best to test his children..........Placing them here on earth...
in a strange place........learning how we all learn... who to trust.....by sometimes
being fooled .........by injustice.......by trickery.........but in the process
of growing up.........finally realizing.....the one that sent us down here.......
would never leave us completely alone.........Until we are eight......we are
protected.......by the presence of heaven......and when we turn eight.....we are
given the Holy Ghost.......which is ........to me the greatest gift ever even
possible for a lonely little soul to possess.........But we aren't fully aware of
its power......even when others tell us.......There seems to have to be a need for
divine intervention......before we know what this power is........I can only tesify
to you.......that it is the greatest thing that any living person on earth....can
witness feeling.........It is the one thing that I confess .......is the most
precious thing on earth to me........It has saved my soul.....It has filled my heart
so full.......that I think it will burst.......It has power not of this life.....
But it is a gift........that if you possess it.......it will not matter if the whole
earth is swallowed up.......

If you have made the Lord the center of your universe......and trust in him....And if you can whether the storms of this mortality......as just a test.....
which they are........You will have the peace of angels in your heart........

What prompted me to write this was......the other day I watched on the BYU
channel........About Nathan Eldon Tanners life........It was so interesting....that
I couldn't turn away........This man......was really a very special man.....and
every one wanted to be by him...have a piece of him.....be where he was....listen
to what he had to say.......Besides being a billionaire......he was a Mormon.....
people wanted to know about Mormons because of him..........anyway.....one day his
grandson...[told by his grandson].....said to Grampa ....."What does it take to be
successful?".............And this is what was said to grandson........from grampa....
"Seek ye First the Kingdom of Heaven......and all else will be granted to you"....
those were his words...........He had learned ........through the same process that
all of us are learning.....right and wrong.....that there is only one way.......
And it so impressed me.......because it was those golden words that I had lived
with when I was really young........and It really confirmed to me again.....that
the Lord must have loved me a lot......I think I had a divine calling.......It
wasn't the one I had planned.......or would have chosen......But now......I have
completely surrendered whatever I might have wished for or dreamed of......I only
want to be in favor with the Lord.....I want him to be happy with me......And I am
honest enough to know I have no idea what I would have chosen for a perfect life....
But I am strong enough to surrender my wants....dreams.....wishes...everything I
have is the Lords.........Then and only then will it be in good hands........I am
just not smart enough......nor do I know enough....but I am smart enougth to know
how much I lack in knowledge.....intelligence.....in ways of the Lord.......And what
ever he has in store for me........His will is mine..........

We get so caught up in current events........Sports?......famous people?
things that happen to us........births......deaths.......celebrations.....elections
...........I love what Neal Maxwell said......."These are all just events"....I
love that........The important thing in this life.......Is that we have our head
on straight........And know we came from Heaven........We are here for a couple of
days......and then for eternity .....if ....we will go back to heaven.....in that
place we have earned while being here on earth.....In a perfect place like
heaven can we have liars.....cheaters......robbers.....killers......I think not.....
For it to be the perfect celestial presence......the ones there have to pretty
good folks.............That makes sense.......Whether they are our relatives or not...We all have to abide by the same rules...........

It seems simple.......we learn when we are small......a red light means stop.
......and green light means go.......Our whole life is governed by rules......we
have to obey..........But......here comes the catch.....The important rules to
learn and that really matter are the ones made in heaven by our Father in Heaven.....
The earthly rules...are the Lords rules also...............But the
Lords rules govern which plane we live on........Do we want to live with ......our loved ones?...those are the important ones........ Our heavenly laws are sometimes a little bit different......because ......they are harmful to us....if we are sick
it makes for misery......We are meant to be happy......and someone loves us enough
to tell us.....which things to avoid that will tear our body apart..........and
we resent it?.........

I think we need so badly to live right so we will be worthy of spiritual
help.........We need faith to believe.......and it is a spiritual gift......It is
like which comes first.....the chicken or the egg.......You need one to have the
other........Thus our beginning.......we have extra help in the beginning when we
are young.......like I mentioned......until we are eight......It is so important
that little ones.........learn in those young years ....The only way to be happy....
is never from disobeying........always to listen to that little voice within......

I think I have hit on the most important things.......But I cannot emphasize
enough.......what Mom and Dad do.......Is written in indelible ink in the minds of
children........But........even if you make mistakes........which you will........
You can make sure they feel loved......and security is discipline.....they have to
know their limits..........We do with the Lord?........One of the hardest things in
this world to grow past is having been given every living thing when you were little........Sorry........But....I heard a stake president say one time.......
Every one has to want ............Children have to want......in order for them to go out and get it........And I believe that.........The ones in the world that have
made it.......have wanted it pretty bad......most of them came from very little......

Don't expect thanks from your kids for going without to give it to them....They don't respect you any more for it.........it's true..........Parents
do it.......because their love is so great.......You will love your kids 10 times
more than they will ever love you........Don't feel bad.......Its been this way
from the beginning of time......

Children..........Words of Wisdom.......

Always stick up for you in-laws.......Your own will forgive you........

If you can solve all your problems with money......You are rich indeed.....

Granma Nielsen........"Teach your kid how to fight or how to run"........

Granma Nielsen......"When scrubbing the floor.....Take care of the corners first and
the middle will take care of itself".......

Grama Nielsen had 9 renegade sons....but she always said...."But Honey....they were
all such good fathers......they all loved their kids"

Gram Nielsen........when watching Mort heave in the toilet after having
too many rootbeers.....she said..."Heave your guts out...good on you"

Gram Nielsen.......When we were first married.....she would call me up every day....
wanted to be best buds....and one day I said."I'm not too happy today
Wally spent thirteen dollars on a fishing pole and went fishing with
his brothers....he hates to fish.........She said to me......."Oh Honey
aren't you happy he isn't spending time after work in a bar for a beer"

Grama Nielsen.....One day Grama fell when stepping off the trolley.....and she sued
them for injuries....She got $250.00......Grampa got hold of it......and
went and bought a piece of crap for a car......she was furious......She
put an add in the paper.....and some guy came and offered to buy it..
He was a smart-alec....and said to her as he handed her the check...This
check is good as long as you don't try to cash it.....Grama said back
to him....."This car is good as long as you don't try to run it"......
They exchanged wishes.....and he went out and the car wouldn't start...
They had to get someone to tow it off the driveway..........

Grama Nielsen.......was the funniest person I ever knew......and I know of no one
that I loved more.......I couldn't stop crying when she died...I thought
my heart would break........

Grama Nielen.....She said to me.....If you let Wally go on his mission......I will
love you like my own daughter....I looked at her.......Is this woman
thinking?.If wally goes on this mission....he will be a better husband
to me......and a better father to my children........Where is her mind?
I would be the ones who gains......and I have and I did.......

Grama Nielsen......always saw the best in everyone......She always loved me......cuz
I helped her boy to be the best he could be........and I don't know how
he could have been a better person.......He was so married to the Lord
and his calling....I had to fit myself into his life the best I could.
But that in itself helped me adjust...to my twenty years I have been
alone......If you are married to a good man......you have to share him
with so many people.........And Pres. Faust said.....when you marry a
prince of a man......you lose a prince of a man........but I wouldn't
have wanted him any different than what he was......Those are the
reasons I fell in love with him..........This is our belief system...
You help your husband be the best he can be.....and then you stand
beside him.....This is the order of Heaven........And I deem it the
greatest privelege of my life......to have found such a righteous man
And what ever he earns will be for both of us........

I think I might want to write a little more later.......but it is kinda my way of
letting you all know......a little of my life......I don't know if I can ever go into
full detail......of all things......But Grama Nielsen was a bright light in my life......And of all her ten children.....Wally was the only Missionary........And
you all know of wallys dad and his mission..........that was another story for another day...........Also very inspiring..........maybe later...........but for
now maybe this is it..........

I think the Lord has more of a hand in our life than anyone knows......We
think everything is our choice?.......If we are living right....he will guide our
destination here and there......the exact circumstances that we need for our own
growth....He knows our weaknesses.....and how we can correct them.........The Lord
is truly the best friend we will ever have.....But it takes us so long to really
know that in our heart.......Why does it take so long for us to know how much the
Lord loves us?.........And he wants so little of us really.......Just to depend
on him......and trust him.......and have faith in him........and know that when
things happen.......it is for a reason......always the test......And the reason
for the test?......Is because he really loves us and wants us to come back home....
Think of our own children.........How we wait for and miss them while they are gone?
We can't hardly breathe when they are out of our sight........He is the same....
But he is more disciplined and patient........and knows we are mostly slow learners.......But he will wait and wait and wait........and never leave us.......
How lucky are we?.......to be loved so much?.........Now I must go for awhile......
But I will be back..........Love Mom......Grama........Grama wonderful......Grama
Tiki......Sug........Grama Christmas.........Grama Sugar pants.......

P.S.........One day when we have tried to be everything to everyone.....we
will realize that we are just one little person........And it is just impossible.
.......That is when truly words of wisdom make so much sense to you.......That is
if your focus is on celestial things........every other thing will fall into place....Because.....simply........nothing else really matters.........

Pres David Christensen......."The closer I come to my savior the less hurt
mortality has for me"...........

Pres. Boyd Packer....."The only things that should concern us are things
of a celestial nature"...........

These have always helped me.......I hope they help you as well............Gram....